For as long as I can remember my Pops has always been around. With his goofy smiles, silly teasing, funny jokes, scratchy beard, lingering cigar and pipe smoke smell. In almsot every important memory I have my Pops is present….until now. My Pops turned 93 on January 2nd. The day passed at Berks Heim with a visit from my Dad and Mom Mom. I’d like to think that my Pops was aware of the day but if he was aware would he have been sad? He had lost so much of who he was… This was the first year in my life that I wasn’t able to wish him happy birthday and I feel so guilty. I know he wouldn’t have held it against me though he might have teased me about it.
On January 10th my Pops and my MomMom were married 69 years. That is so incredible to me. Every day my Pops would kiss my MomMom 3 times in the morning. He gave her flowers regularly, held doors for her, held her hand. He was and always will be her “sweetheart” and I’m sure in his heart he felt the same.
My Pops passed away this past Saturday morning. It shouldn’t have been a surprise considering his condition but for me it was. My tendency is to box anything uncomfortable up and just not feel it but I know that I can’t do that any more so I’m allowing myself to feel all of this. I can say without any doubt that it totally sucks. I miss my Pops…I guess I’ve been missing him for quite some time though. I’m so glad that he had the chance to know my children and that they were able to know him and all his wonderful silliness. I can only hope that he watches over us all and sends a little of his silliness and love from heaven ❤