How are you doing this morning? I know it’s been a while since my last post. Believe me – there are about a dozen drafts that I’ve written over the past couple months but none seemed right for sharing. I’m working on being more consistent here but I wonder sometimes! But this morning…after month’s of deliberate public silence regarding the election I feel compelled to write.
For the past year my son has had anxiety and nightmares about the possibility of Donald Trump becoming President because of the hateful words and intentions that were being broadcast. I repeatedly assured him over these months that we had to have faith that people would recognize that someone who was willing to shout such hate towards other human beings, such disrespect towards women, such flippantly ignorant comments about bombs and war would not be chosen as the figure head of our country. This morning I had to tell both him and my daughter that I was wrong – that Donald Trump would indeed be our next President. I had to see the look of shock and anger on my daughter’s face because she is old enough to know and has heard the things that were said about girls/women/minorities/special needs/disabled people by Mr. Trump. I had to see the look of fear and sadness on my son’s face. It breaks my heart. What do you say to help them feel secure when someone that will be in such a powerful position not only was applauded but rewarded for such behavior?!? Well..in our house we teach respect, kindness and love. We talked about the importance of respecting others, spreading love and kindness, speaking up when someone is being treated unfairly. We talked about treating others with respect, particularly we talked about the importance of boys/men treating girls/women with respect and not accepting anything less. My daughter and I talked about the capabilities of girls/women and how it is important to lift each other, support each other because there are still so many who believe that women shouldn’t have basic equalities/choices/opportunities and many people still who do not see anything wrong and/or excuse sexist offensive actions towards women.We talked about making small differences every day by the choices that they make. We talked about the hope that our government checks and balances will make sure that this one mean, ignorant, hateful man can not do widespread harm. We talked about continuing each day to be compassionate and kind to others, be respectful even when you don’t agree, always speak out about bullies and injustices. Now we will see…it’s a little terrifying to be honest. We will keep spreading love and kindness here and hope that others will do the same.
I am “child free” for 6 whole days? I AM CHILD FREE FOR 6 WHOLE DAYS!!!!!!
Yes it’s true and to be honest I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I am 100% free to do whatever during the day without school schedules, doctors appointments, homework, softball, baseball, etc. On the other hand…no good morning hugs and kisses or night time snuggles.
Where are they you ask? Well the pictures above are from a quick food stop on the way to the airport hotel 2 nights ago. They left super early the next morning (with their grandparents, Monie and G) to fly to Florida before going on their first Disney Cruise! To say they were excited is an understatement!
In their absence so far I’ve gone to breakfast with a friend and her daughter, gotten my haircut, gone shopping, wrote a new badge packet for my group Empowered Yayas , finished a book I was reading and shopped with my dear friend to donate to charity. All the while I was doing these things I was anxious to know how my Bugs were doing. (They’ve texted: They had fun swimming yesterday and today the boarded the ship and rode the water slide!)
I’ve big plans for the next few days…don’t worry I’ll post all about my Mommy Adventure. What would YOU do with a free days to yourself?
One of my very favorite things is talking with the Bugs. No I’m not referring to the repetitive “did you brush your teeth? did you make your bed?” That’s almost torturous to navigate through their denials, stories and fibs. What I love are the conversations that we have about random things…those conversations are priceless.
Yesterday was one of my favorites. The Bug and I were in the car…doctor appointment to discover he has strep for the 2nd time in a month (how I feel about THAT is a whole other post!) and then travels to pick up meds, etc. Radio Disney was playing and that is always fun listening to the Bug sing. This time though we started talking about being stranded on a desert island….the conversation went something like this:
So if you were stranded on a desert island and could choose 1 person, 1 food and 1 song what would you choose?
Adam: I’d choose Laila (our great dane), tacos (big surprise there!) and “What About Love” by Austin Mahone.
Not Mommy (even though I spent ALL NIGHT and ALL DAY taking care of him…which means not being further than about 2 ft from him!) LOL I guess it could have been worse…and it is nice that he feels that close to the giant of a dog we have ❤ and to be honest I don’t think I’d last more than 5 minutes listening to his song choice! Now if he picked Happy or Ain’t it Fun or one of about 100 other songs…
So tell me how you would YOU choose?
Have you heard that Sheryl Sandberg wants to eliminate the word “bossy?” Her reasoning? Because the word “bossy” is used to describe girls who are confident and assertive which in turn makes them insecure and afraid of being leaders. WHAT?!? This is just crazy if you ask me.
Here’s what I think:
- You can’t just eliminate a word because you don’t like how some people use it negatively. If that was reasonable, acceptable and realistic I can think of a few other words that would be better off eliminated than bossy…
- Instead of eliminating the word (and assuming) that girls will feel better about being leaders… we should support girls to be individuals, build their self esteem and celebrate their goals so that they will have the confidence and resilience to smile and persevere no matter what they are called. We should support and encourage the characteristics and behaviors of leaders so that they will recognize the difference between that and bossiness.
- Some people (both girls/women and boys/men) are just bossy. They aren’t being leaders, they are just bossy! They should be called on that.
- Point is…we need to support girls (and boys for that matter) and teach them, support them how to be confident in who they are and their goals but also teach them to expect that if they overstep their “confidence” that they will be called on it.
My Bug is a confident 10 year old leader. She is determined and creative. She has big plans and isn’t afraid to share them. She is out spoken and unwavering when she gets an idea. She also can be dominating, pushy, manipulative and yes…bossy. When she is bossy I wouldn’t want anyone to act like it’s ok. Because it’s not! I also wouldn’t want anyone to act like she isn’t capable or deserving of her goals. In my opinion you need to acknowledge and define limits or else there is less satisfaction in the results.
Eliminating a word isn’t going to magically increase self confidence or self awareness. Eliminating a word isn’t going to change other people’s attitudes. If anything we should embrace the word and shift it’s connotation!
What do YOU think?
Music is a big part of life at our house. We listen to music in the car, in the kitchen… both of the Bugs love to sing, play instruments and dance. One of my favorite things to do is listen to my Bugs singing…makes my heart smile ❤
Music can say so much about how you’re feeling…so for today I’d like to share my playlist for my week… What songs would be on YOUR playlist? Share them with me…I love to hear from you!
Happy…by Pharrell Williams (I LOVE this song! I challenged my YaYas to make their own Happy video.
What Does the Kid Say (This could almost be my theme song…or most mom’s theme song for that matter!)
The Mom Song
ENJOY!!!!! Please share your songs 🙂
It seems that writing a blog every day is tougher than I thought! I had big plans when I started this blog…and then restarted. I took some time over the past month though to take a blogging e-course, researched a bunch of blogs that I enjoy reading and created a blog plan. (I’m organized…can you believe it?!) So what does this mean for you, my readers? Well….more regular posts. I’m not promising every day because you know…life happens! It also means more opportunities for YOU to comment and interact…and I hope that you do!
Two days ago it was 47*, yesterday morning it was a balmy 62* (no I was not imagining things.) Take a wild guess what the temperature was TODAY?! At 8am this morning it was 3*…yes you read that correctly…and that does not include wind chill. It was so cold that we had a 2 hour delay for school (what the 2 hour delay was supposed to help with I still have no clue.) When I took the Bugs to school at 10:30am it was a steamy 9*! Of course I couldn’t just drop them off to school and come back home to burrow under covers….I had to stop at the Turkey Hill for gas (yes I know poor planning – should have gotten gas when it was 62*!!!!) and…wait for it…to put air in my tires. Yes my friends while driving back from taking J to drop his car off this morning to get detailed the little light popped up on the dash that I had low air pressure in tires. Great. Absolutely freaking great. Soo…I diligently spent the $1.00 and 3 minutes adding air in my tires…in the frigid cold with only one glove on (so I could screw the little caps back on the tire valve.) I mean what do people DO who live where it is this cold all winter long?! I thought I liked the cold but this…this is painful cold! Tomorrow is supposed to be a high of 25*… I might pull out my flip flops! By the time Saturday comes and the temp peaks at 53*? We might just go crazy and head to the beach!