How are you doing this morning? I know it’s been a while since my last post. Believe me – there are about a dozen drafts that I’ve written over the past couple months but none seemed right for sharing. I’m working on being more consistent here but I wonder sometimes! But this morning…after month’s of deliberate public silence regarding the election I feel compelled to write.
For the past year my son has had anxiety and nightmares about the possibility of Donald Trump becoming President because of the hateful words and intentions that were being broadcast. I repeatedly assured him over these months that we had to have faith that people would recognize that someone who was willing to shout such hate towards other human beings, such disrespect towards women, such flippantly ignorant comments about bombs and war would not be chosen as the figure head of our country. This morning I had to tell both him and my daughter that I was wrong – that Donald Trump would indeed be our next President. I had to see the look of shock and anger on my daughter’s face because she is old enough to know and has heard the things that were said about girls/women/minorities/special needs/disabled people by Mr. Trump. I had to see the look of fear and sadness on my son’s face. It breaks my heart. What do you say to help them feel secure when someone that will be in such a powerful position not only was applauded but rewarded for such behavior?!? Well..in our house we teach respect, kindness and love. We talked about the importance of respecting others, spreading love and kindness, speaking up when someone is being treated unfairly. We talked about treating others with respect, particularly we talked about the importance of boys/men treating girls/women with respect and not accepting anything less. My daughter and I talked about the capabilities of girls/women and how it is important to lift each other, support each other because there are still so many who believe that women shouldn’t have basic equalities/choices/opportunities and many people still who do not see anything wrong and/or excuse sexist offensive actions towards women.We talked about making small differences every day by the choices that they make. We talked about the hope that our government checks and balances will make sure that this one mean, ignorant, hateful man can not do widespread harm. We talked about continuing each day to be compassionate and kind to others, be respectful even when you don’t agree, always speak out about bullies and injustices. Now we will see…it’s a little terrifying to be honest. We will keep spreading love and kindness here and hope that others will do the same.
A friend posted this on facebook and it absolutely resonated with me. I am so incredibly thank*full to be able to spend each day with my children and great*full to J for providing that opportunity. I know to some it seems dull or unchallenging (of which it is neither!) but even on the most stress*full and chaotic days I close my eyes at the end of the day and feel so incredibly blessed.
This week I am experiencing the beach with the Bugs. We are spending the time with my dad (their G), my grandmother (their “old” Mom Mom.) J is home taking care of Laila and working before his “guys vacation” in a few weeks. It’s been two days so far and it has been fantastic! Sunny sky, warm(ish) ocean, LAUGHS, ice cream, hugs and LOVE. These are the moments I cherish. Of course there has also been multiple trips to CVS (at least it wasn’t urgent care!), bathing suit rash for Bug, arguing, nonstop talking, and yes the LoveBug sass. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world because when it was time to put the Bugs to bed tonight I got hugs and kisses and snuggles and smiles…I can’t wait to spend tomorrow with them ❤
When I stop to think about it – to recognize the men in my life just one day out of the year as if they aren’t quite as important the other 364 days- it just seems crazy! Because if the celebration was to truly be representative of their importance in my life there could never be enough time… they deserve so much more recognition than I ever could possibly give…but I’ll try…because today is Father’s Day right?
Let’s start with My Dad… Wow~ putting up with me for almost 40 years. He certainly deserves a medal for that one! My dad has never been one to talk much (didn’t get that trait from him! lol) but I have never doubted his unconditional love for me. He has been there for me in happy times, difficult times, sad times and every day in between. He taught me how to ride a bike, taught me how to drive, taught me how to play baseball… He has supported me, encouraged me, laughed with me. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of him taking me to the Note Pourri in West Reading (PA) where I was able to pick out however many Mrs. Grossman Stickers to fill my sticker albums. My sister D and I would then spend hours playing waitress, dolls and every other “girlie” thing…with my Dad right by our sides. Then I grew up and of course drifted away a bit. But when I was pregnant with LoveBug and found out all kinds of bad news…my Dad was by my side without hesitation. When we thought we had all the bad news possible but needed to go to Hershey for an extended ultrasound my Dad was with me. And when there still was more bad news and I was told I needed to wait to talk with doctors (in the maternity waiting room of all places!)…It was my dad said who knows what to get us into a private room to wait – at just the right moment before I completely lost it. He held my hand while I was scared and told me everything would be ok…even though we really didn’t know if it would be or not. My dad spent so many days keeping me company when LoveBug was in the NICU and has spent countless hours and days with us ever since. He is now the best “G” to the Bugs… From day 1 he has spent so much time with both of them! He helps with school pick up whenever needed, helps with homework, watches movies, plays wiffle ball, helps them ride their bikes, takes them to playgrounds and to mini golf and so much more! He is silly with them and reminds me to relax when I can’t see them every single second at the playground! He buries them in the sand and teaches them how to swim! He is their “G” and they love him for all these reasons and more! I love him because he is my Dad and everytime I see him smiling and playing with my Bugs I love him a little bit more ❤
In 2004, J stopped being just my husband and became Daddy to LoveBug. Then 3 years later a Daddy again to Bug. I have seen him grow and change in his role of being Daddy. He is the Daddy who gives them extra ice cream and treats, who tempers my anxiety and paranoia about so many “normal” activities, who wrestles with them and who works so very hard to provide for them. He’s not always the most patient and he may not always do things the way I would or the way I’d like…but he loves those Bugs more than anything and that makes me love him that much more ❤
And not to be forgotten on this very special day that truly should be celebrated every day…
My Bug’s Pop who is so very important! He is an amazing and involved grandfather – spending hours of time with them, sharing his love of camping & nature. He teaches them with everyday activities, helps with homework and shares his humor. He is a fantastic father in law – always seems to know when I need to hear a word of encouragement or support or simply parental commiseration. ❤
I remember growing up how time passed so….s-l-o-w-l-y…all the time yet my mom used to say how fast the time went. uh…what? I thought she was nuts! Fast forward 30 years and here I am sitting and wondering where all of the time goes?!?
All week long I look forward to the weekends and all the awesome cool activities and projects I’d like to do with my Bugs. Reality is that between weekend activities and the Bugs arguing amongst themselves most if not all of my creative aspirations as a parent ever come to fruition. (insert Mom pout here.) And quite honestly I’m tired of it! Because Monday comes and the busy week begins and I’m left wondering what we did for the last 2 days.
So here’s my plan for next weekend: make a plan, work the plan, report here. I want my Bugs to remember weekends as fun, magical family times (with some good old fashioned chores thrown in there for fun!) So I’m adding to my weekly planning some fun activities for next weekend? Pinterest here I come!
How do you spend your weekend time? What activities do you do regularly? Check back here next Sunday night to find out how our weekend of fun went!